her grace, sharon lainsworth (
labelledamesansmerci) wrote2011-05-01 11:14 pm
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Entry tags:
Questions/Relationships
As the president of the redundancy department of redundant phrasing's president I guess I will FINALLY BANDWAGON and for the first time ever do a relationship/questions meme. Thing.
Thingy.
\:D/ That's for Sharon on Kunzite and Allen/Red on Sapphire. PRETEND I DID THE FANCY COLOR CODING.
Thingy.
\:D/ That's for Sharon on Kunzite and Allen/Red on Sapphire. PRETEND I DID THE FANCY COLOR CODING.
no subject
Allen – Sion adores Allen and sees him as a fakeson of sorts. He has loved him from day one and still does. In the beginning, Allen's underdog ways pinged him a lot as a younger Ryner, and still do because yes, they have a lot in common. But now Sion has been learning how different they can be, which is a good thing, since Sion's relationship with Ryner is super pushy because that's what Ryner needs to heal. Now he understands that a lot of his pushing just makes Allen uncomfortable and doesn't help at all, and he is trying to find better ways to support him. In Aather, this is kind of hard because 90% of his memories, so far, are Ryner-related, so his first impulse around Allen is to push push and push, but it kind of backfires because Allen – unlike Ryner or Ferris - will not just punch him in the face when he crosses the line. XD But he is learning to dissociate the two of them a little better, and try to figure out what Allen needs and when, which is why he pulled back on LOVE ~ and is trying very hard to call him Red (more on that later).
Sion feels responsible for Allen and believes he is definitively a person to protect and fight for, not because he considers Allen weak - on the contrary, he considers him very strong and admires him for that - but exactly because Allen has already gone through too much. In his canon, Sion will fiercely protect people who he considers much stronger/more competent/wiser than himself (beneath his confident facade, his self-esteem is very low), because he firmly believes everyone deserves happiness, and nobody should suffer just because they can take it. The more the world has been bad to you, the more Sion will try to shelter you with his body and soul. As an example, he thinks Ryner is the strongest person on earth, he considers himself an unfit king to his beloved country (no matter how everybody tells him otherwise), and yet he will try to step between them and suffering every single time because allowing them to get hurt again is simply unthinkable. And the world has been pretty bad to Allen. :( So yes, people like Allen, Ryner, Ferris and the Rolandians are pretty much his babies.
Red – Sticking to “real” names is an Aather!Sion thing, because in canon he doesn't face a similar problem. It's an ingrained and mostly unconscious habit, and it has to do with the fact that Truth is one of the Mad Hero's attributes, which means Sion will seek the truth about himself and others no matter how hard and complex Truth turns out to be. Sion sees Aather names as fake, and that's their right as people to reclaim who they are, the memories that have been taken from them by essentially tyrannical beings. It was only recently that Judith pointed out that Aather might give some people opportunities to fix things, and that had an impact on Sion, who is dealing with his worst memory to date. With Allen, there is an extra complication: he knows “Red” is a name originally given by people who hurt him, and Sion feels uncomfortable and saddened about calling Allen something with those associations. It feels like cursing someone you love, much when Ryner refers to himself as a "monster" and expects him to accept that.
tl;dr – Allen is very *important* to Sion and he will strive to help him as best as he can, but amnesic fakedad has been poorly equipped to do his job properly and is sincerely trying to improve.
Sharon - Sion's opinion of Sharon has not changed at all. In fact, it probably improved. He still sees her as a beacon of reason in the madness that is Aather, where violence/death can be at times ignored, reasoned or pretty much treated like a game. So he respects Sharon's opinion A LOT and will listen to what she says. He totally subscribes to Kunzite's hippie ideals even if he is faced with many situations in which he fails to put them to practice, because being a king is a hard job. :(
Which is why Three's game was so BAD to Sion's sanity. He found himself inside that glass and the first thing Kunzite told him was that they would let him decide: hurt or kill, and of course he respected and acknowledged their kindness for that. His way of paying the favor was not hesitating to take the responsibility of that decision upon his own shoulders as soon as it was offered to him. So that whatever happened from now on would be his fault and his fault alone, and that goal became even more clear when he realized how bad Kunzite – especially Nat – was feeling about putting him in that situation in the first place (Nat had asked for her friend to be exchanged for Sion in the glass). So Sion was like: "That's not your fault. You did your best. I'm responsible for what happens from now on." And that's what he does through his entire canon – as a king, he must take the burden of difficult decisions and make them his own, so doing that is kind of second nature to him at this point.
So he chose hurt. :'D Since he didn't know what form hurt or kill would take, hurt seemed the less of two evils. Snow, I believe, actually warns him in advance that they were led to think that hurt would mean torture-scale pain, but Sion was like: "Okay, I'm used to torture-scale pain." (because of his condition). In fact, Sion's main misgiving at the time was not that he wouldn't bear the pain without traumatizing Kunzite more, because he was firmly persuaded that he would, but that by choosing hurt, Kunzite would be penalized in any way that was not merely losing the game. That's what he kept asking them: “Do you think you will be punished for choosing hurt instead of kill?”. And at their negative, he finally decided on hurt because he didn't want to turn children into murderers. The plan was simple: ask the children to look away, bear the pain like a manly man, survive, get healed or hide his wounds by the end of the game. Basically, as trauma free as possible for everybody but for the guy who was already in pain to begin with. Now, the biggest irony of it all is that Sion is secretly SUICIDAL. :'D He truly and sincerely wants to die, because he lives in constant, excruciating pain and because of what he knows must happen to Ryner, but heavens help Sion from ever choosing something for his own sake, so his wish to die never entered the equation. Also, Sion is always terribly wary of the dangers of being an hypocrite, and sacrificing any life – even his own – when there were other, apparently better options, was something he would at least try to avoid.
So he chose hurt, and it was a disaster because torture was far more gorish and graphic than he had expected (he still beats himself for being incapable of suppressing his screams in the very end, and he WOULD have if he was not caught by surprise). Worse, he found out later that death would have been fast, non-graphic and painless. :'D Which means that Asruld, the Mad Hero inside his head, had a field day telling him how incompetent, weak, stupid, and a bad decision maker he was, and that he should just disappear to make space for a much superior Sion. Now he had traumatized the very children he wanted to protect, and Miss Sharon – the person whose opinion is gold to him – telling him he should have known better (Souya told him that too), something Sion would never disagree with. And Asruld just went “See, see, see! Let me take control, damnit. I will do so much better than you. >:| “ And to this day Sion doesn't know if he made the right or wrong decision, because having Kunzite kill would have been bad too, and it would also be playing in Three's tendency to desensitize the heroes to murder. But on the other hand SO MUCH TRAUMA.
So beneath his friendly, self-assured facade, his current attitude around Sharon is being truly, sincerely and miserably sorry. And that won't go away any time soon because Sion is a worrier. It never crosses his mind the idea of defending his decision or that she might be being unfair in any way. It never crosses his mind to blame Kunzite for any decisions taken, and the idea that he has been brutally tortured into a state of shock by a thousands drills has very little relevance, and both Paul and Mithos had to call him on the latter. All he can thinks of is “I shouldn't have screamed./ I should have been stronger./ I should have been smarter/I should have done better.” To Sion, the fact that Sharon is mad at him for failing to protect Kunzite is completely natural and shows him again what a good person she is, and how much she has the heart in the right place. He believes there is absolutely no excuse for his failure and he will try his best to take responsibility for the damage and make up for both Sharon and Kunzite. :|b
tl;dr: Sion will try his best to do better next time, Miss Sharon :(